I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
