His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.