I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.