The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.