Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.