So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.