How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
