farters have to be the big spoon...
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
