My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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