i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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