I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
