he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
