My hair reeks of homosexuality.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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