He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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