How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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