you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
