Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
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My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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