I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
