He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
