i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
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Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
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I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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