I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
