Already got asked if we're dating
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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