Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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