I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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