he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
