these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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