New low: just hacked my moms facebook
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
