He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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