Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
