Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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