Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
