is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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