I wish I only lived at night.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize