And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
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I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
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im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize