sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
