Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
