do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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