I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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