I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
how does that bad decision feel?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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