Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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