I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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