He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
