12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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