I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
should my penis look like a turkey
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
