you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
