Having a random hookup so left but love u
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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