I swear she didn't look like that last week.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
