fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
