You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
