never play flip cup with pint glasses
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
