Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
