I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
