the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
