He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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