The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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