She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
