Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
3 2 1 whiskey
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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