he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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