I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
