worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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